God Answers

God isn't always going to answer the way we want Him to answer. He doesn't answer to us, we answer to Him. I know in my heart that when God said it is time for someone to go home, that is what is supposed to happen, no matter how hard it is for those left behind. When you know someone who has been a good person on this Earth and a family that has embraced all He has done, you know that God's ultimate will was done. My friend told me last night that she knows that God has had a big hand in her husband's life. He has been alive longer than he should have been alive and it is but for the grace of God that he is still here to see his family grow up. I know it will be so hard for them to say goodbye when the Lord calls him home but know that they know they will see him again. God is such a gentle Lord, one of great mercy. He has cried for them and He will cry again with them when that time comes. Oh God, you are unshakeable. You are our one and only Savior. I am so glad that this family knows you and loves you just as I do.

No Such Thing As Randomness

Yes, I already shared with you that I am a self proclaimed space nut and love all things to do with the air around us.  Last night, after the kids were in bed, Erik and I went out into our backyard to run the dog and watch the stars.  The moon was still sort of full but the brightness wasn't as much.  Looking at the stars, I began to wonder, did God put the stars up there in an orderly fashion or did He just randomly place them there?  There are so many beautiful constellations, most of them from the Greek mythological points of view, but beautiful nonetheless.  Then I thought, He didn't randomly choose to make us.  Each purposefully chose to make each and everyone of us.  We are part of His ultimate plan.  He perfectly made us from the very first part all the way to what we are now and He is still perfecting us through His Spirit.  The same might be said of the universe.  No matter how large the universe is, I know in my heart He didn't just randomly create the beauty up there.  Each and every star up there is known by Him.  Just as each and everyone of us is known by Him.  He takes care of the details and I am just so thankful for that.

As we went back inside to go to sleep, I was thankful that my husband and I got to share this together.  The beauty, the peace and calm (we live in the country so you can see the stars every night) and the awesomeness of it all!  I love the Lord my God.  Have a blessed day everyone!

Meteor Shower!

I got up at 3am to see the magnificent meteor shower. I have to tell you a secret. I am a space buff. Just the thought about infinity around our little earth just really intrigues me. I woke up very quietly so as not to wake up anyone else and tip toed down the long hallway. My excitement was there as I made my way to our door when all of a sudden, the full moon hit me in the face! Okay, there was not going to be any viewing of the meteor shower but I had some good one on one time with my Savior just looking at the moon that He created. It brought to mind that He is always there looking out for us. This giant moon is to light up our dark, dark world and He is here to brighten up our dark, dark society. I just looked and looked at the moon and no words could come to my mind. I just breathed and smiled. God, I love you and no words can express the time we had last night. Silence is everything and I feel so blessed by your presence in my life.

At A Loss.......

I really don't know what I am doing Lord as a parent.  Why did you bless us with a headstrong little person to raise and take care of throughout life?  I love being a parent.  You know Lord I would never trade it for the world, but sometimes it is so hard.  Many years ago, I remember the times on my knees, asking you for a child to come into our life.  We prayed and prayed and waited and waited.  Your timing is perfect Lord.  She came at the right time in our life.

Our children were born with different problems and it took all we had to just get back on our knees and talk to you Lord.  Why?  Why are they so little?  Why are they not as healthy as other babies?  Didn't I do everything right?  I just know now, that you were listening and crying as well for us.  You knew they would make it.  You knew their little personalities.  You knew that our eldest when she was a baby knew what she wanted and when.  You knew when our youngest had a twinkle in his eyes, that our house would  be enlivened each day.  I love them so much Lord.  I thank you for them.

But I am at a loss.  Our children are turning into such fine little people Lord Jesus.  I have you to thank for that.  Our eldest is getting baptized in a month and I am so happy for the fact that she came to that realization by herself.  We haven't prodded her one way or the other.  But there are times when I think that this world, the evil in this world, is going to pull on her and make her act in ways that are not like you Jesus.  What can I do when she is throwing a fit for some reason or other?  I can only lean on you Lord.  I ask for your help.  I ask for your guidance.  No amount of books in the world will help us be the parents you want us to be.  We have to discipline in love but stand our ground.  It is so hard to be a parent.  I always thought it would be easy Lord.  I was sorely wrong.  As the days go by and she gets older, please lead us in the way you want us to go with her.  I want to be the best parent for her and raise her to be a loyal follower of you Lord Jesus but all I can do is give her a foundation as a parent.  She has to do the rest.  Let me lay her at your feet Lord.  Let me realize we can only do so much and then it is up to you.  You are the one that can move mountains.  I know you can help with this parenting adventure.  Like I said, most of the time I am at a loss.  I need to just give it to you and let you guide us and guide her.

Miss Ladybug, I love you little girl.  You are my love, my miracle, my daughter.  May your life be full of special blessings just as the Lord has blessed us many times over.  I just pray that you love the Lord with all your heart and seek Him in all your battles and trials in life.

Living for God's Pleasure and Not Mine......

As I was doing my devotion last night, I ran across the verse Ecclesiastes 2:11.  "Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun."  This brought me to my knees.  Literally falling on my knees by my side of the bed, clasping my hands, and saying "Lord, I know you have great plans for me.  I want to do good for you.  I want to do all things for Your glory Lord but sometimes life just gets in the way."

How many times have we had that feeling that all we are doing on this Earth will be forgotten after we leave?  I would hope that the legacy of our children would be a testimony to how we lived and loved in our lives.  We work so hard to be good parents and make sure they have everything they need.  We want the best for them.  We want the best schooling for them, the best friends for them, the best of everything.  But in reality are we doing it for God's glory or our own?  I find that it is a fine line.  Yes, God gives us our children to raise but only for His glory.

Lately I have been starting to go back to school to get my master's degree in teaching.  It is something I have always wanted.  I know that when I have my master's, I will be better secure in my job when I do end up going back to work.  Prayerfully I consider this with my Lord and Savior and He has allowed me to start the process although slowly so it doesn't interfere with my Bible study time and the family that we are raising.  I know it will take a long time but I am hoping I am doing it all for His glory.  I don't want to do anything in my life that I know may not have the Lord's stamp of approval.  I know that He has a time for everything in my life and He knows when the best time is for me to accomplish those things.  He opens doors and windows and closes doors at the same time.  We just have to look to Him for discernment.  I feel that I am always looking for His discernment in things but do I really listen?

After all I am here for His pleasure, not mine.  I am here on Earth to live for Him and help Him in His work on Earth.  He wants testimonies all over our world and wants my little life to be a testimony to whomever I come in contact with throughout my life.  I love that He has everything in control.  I need to remember that when I set about doing tasks, no matter how small.  "He has made everything beautiful in its time.  He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."  Ecclesiastes 3:11

He loves us and is pleased with us when we live for Him.  One day we will be face to face with our Savior and I often wonder what that will be like.  I most likely will fall on my knees in front of Him.

My Daddy

She brushes a strand of hair behind her ear.  She sighs a deep sigh and smiles a big girl smile.  Her hand is firmly grasped in his hand as they wait for the cue.  She can tell his arm is shaking a little and her heart is beating faster with each stanza of music coming through the tall, double doors.  Is this what she is supposed to be doing?  Is she supposed to take this big step?  She is thinking that this is the most magical time of her life and can’t wait to start a life with the one she loves.  Then she hears a whisper.  “You look beautiful.  Keep a stiff upper lip.”  Her dad, clasping her hand in his, slowly walks her down the aisle toward her new life, a life without him.  She will always be his little girl but another must take his place in her life.  It is the way it is supposed to be.  Her father, always gentle and caring, kisses her on her cheek as she starts her new life.  

Fathers.  Aren’t they wonderful?  Aren’t they the cure all for an achy heart?  Aren’t they the ones that always make things alright?  Not everyone has that sort of dad but my dad was very much like that.  I always knew everything would be okay as long as my dad was around.  Even when he was traveling on business, I knew he would be home and that life would be safe and good.  My mom, I know, loved to have my father home because it just meant that we were a complete family.  Together always.  

We all have a Father in Heaven that we know we can always count on no matter the circumstances.  He knows what we are going through.  He has cried a thousand tears for what we cry over today.  He longs to hold us through the storms of our life and carry us in His capable arms over rough, bumpy ground.  His strength is in His words, His being, His love.  He is everything.  He is the ultimate daddy.  I love my daddy, my one on Earth that He placed to take care of me.  But I absolutely adore my daddy in Heaven, the maker of Heaven and Earth.  The one who knew me before I was even formed.  He has been with me from the beginning.  I love that knowledge.  No matter how tough things get, I know that I can always count on my great Father in Heaven.

Remember God is your Father.  He is our great Father, our heavenly “Daddy”.  Hold on to Him and let Him know that you love Him too because, yes, daddies love to hear they are loved too.  Give Him praise and glory even during the tough times.  He sees your beginning and end.  He knows the now.  Let Him guide you through your life.  He is the one you can lean on as you walk down the aisle towards the next adventure in your life.  Yes, there may be tears and there may be stumbling but He is always there to help you up and give you a hanky.  

I love my daddy.  I love Him with all my heart.  I want to speak to Him first thing in the morning and last thing at night.  Those bedtime stories I remember with my dad are such an important childhood memory.  Those times when I would be woken up in the morning by my father as he threw all my stuffed animals at me in fun, I will remember.  I want that sort of relationship with God, my Father.  I want Him to be a part of every facet of my life, from the rising of the sun to the setting of the sun.

She stops and turns and looks at her father.  He looks at her proudly and shows his love by just a single smile.  She knows in her heart that this is the plan that God has for her.  She winks at her father, says “I love you” to her mother, and then turns to her husband to be as they start the ceremony.  What a lovely moment.  Cherish those times with your father and cherish those moments with your Heavenly Father.  He only wants the best for you.  

Dear Father, Daddy, I love you with all my being.  You are my maker, my friend, my father and my hero.  I thank you for the life you have given me and I thank you for the life I will have.  I pray that you watch over every moment of my life and may I do all things for you Lord.  In Your Son’s name, Amen

Jeremiah 29:11-13  “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

Let the Dust Settle

Faith....faith in our Lord, faith in our God, faith in our Father.  We need faith in our lives.  We need to believe that God is the sovereign one that will make all things good according to His will.  Why is it so hard then to have that faith?  Right now, I am looking out the window watching our huge windstorm and thinking I need to get out and rebuild the greenhouse.  I need to get out and replant my seedlings that were so carelessly thrown away by the wind.  I need to fix what is broken outside.  But in the back of my mind, I realized that I need to wait until the windstorm is over.  Let the dust settle outside and then pick up the pieces that are strewn around our yard.  Wait until the wind is over so that I can replant without the possibility of more broken pots.  Wait, wait, wait.  My husband's job has a sort of windstorm going right now.  We do not know if he will have a job in July or not.  We do not know how much pay will be cut if he still has his job.  My first and foremost thing to do is panic.  I don't eat when I get that stressed.  My stomach is in knots.  My head is not where it is supposed to be.  It is that fight or flight thing that I have going on and I know that is not of God.  Talking to a good friend today, she advised me to wait until the dust settles before rushing to judgement, making plans that don't have to be made, stressing myself out and getting upset about everything.  We just have to wait and see what happens with his job and then properly take the steps to go on with our lives, as God sees fit.  He has our best interests.  He has our back.  Why then do I rush to fix things while the dust is still flying in and around my head?  Why can't I just calmly walk up to Him and lay it at His feet?  Why can't I just let it go into His hands all the way and let go myself?  Things always turn out bad when you don't have a clear head but when you have faith in Him who knows your future, your plans can never go awry, even if bad things still happen to us.  We live in a cruel, cruel world.  We just have to keep our eyes on the prize, His Heaven.  Let the dust settle and have FAITH that He will take care of all things.  We have to BELIEVE He will.  It is easier said than done sometimes and I am upset with myself that I can't take my own advice.  I have no other choice though.  I have to put ALL my FAITH in Him.  He is my Father.  I love Him and know that He will sweep all the debris that is left behind the bad things.  His love is never ending.  Just let the dust settle and have the faith to lean on Him and give it all to Him.  After all, who wants dust bunnies in our lives?